All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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