I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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