"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
