Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
