Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
