I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
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