let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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