weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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