Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
