well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
