So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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