it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
