Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
