Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
