I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
well you can't waste a boner
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
