only you would photoshop your dick
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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