oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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