my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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