You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
