...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
