I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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