is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
