what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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