just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
