We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
