I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
