dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize