I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
