im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
