I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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