a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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