Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
