Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
