i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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