I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
