I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
