I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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