Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
