My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
