I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
