Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
