gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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