You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
