At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
