I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize