96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
