Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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