Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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