I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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