I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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