4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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