you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
